Monday, 21 June 2010


As we turned the corner into the Sainsbury's car-park and I caught a glimpse of a stormtrooper sitting in the passenger sit of my friend's red mini, I knew it was going to be a very interesting day.

Saturday the 19th of June was the date of my stag event, and all I was 'supposed'to know about the day was that we were going somewhere and that there would be a Star Wars/sci-fi fancy dress theme. I say 'supposed' because my brother (one of my best men) had accidentally told me where we were going for the day; Legoland Windsor! I was a little disappointed that I wouldn't have the surprise on the day, but that quickly faded when I remembered; we're going to Legoland!

I had been told that a costume would be arranged for me, and so I stood nervously waiting for it to be revealed, as my friends turned up in their fancy dress. We had a couple of stormtroopers, Darth Vader, Yoda, Darth Maul, Obi Wan Kenobi, the Emperor, a rebel trooper, Buzz Lightyear and a ghost buster! Once everyone was there, my other best man Matt got my costume out; I was to be Princess Leia! My clothing consisted of a white dress (which was surprisingly comfortable) and two Danish pastries taped to the side of my head, meaning that for the whole day my face smelt like a bakery and I couldn't hear a thing!

Once we had all arrived at Legoland my tasks and challenges began. I had a list of items I have to try to obtain throughout the day, such as a used tissue, an AA battery, a piece of cheese and so on. I managed to get seven of the twelve things, which I think wasn't too bad. I also had to undertake some challenges, the biggest one being that I had to recite a poem I had composed during the car journey, containing certain words and phrases chosen by my best men. I have included it below for your literary interest, the prescribed content highlighted.

Lego, will you marry me?

I love Lego, it makes me want to spasm,
I love it so much, I might turn to ectoplasm,
As a young padawan, the blocks I would wield,
Building X-wings and TIE fighters, complete with deflector shields,
When I've got some Lego, I must report,
I feel like Luke, firing down the exhaust port,
I could be anywhere, even Calne Country Festival,
Cos when I've got Lego, I'm feeling best of all,
I'm going to build a Lego house, full of Lego apparel,
A Lego bed, a Lego chair, a basin and towel,
It could be in Crudwell, maybe in Hackney,
But what I need to know is, Lego, will you marry me?

Although I was the most unusually dressed (one mother told me that my costume will probably traumatize her children), I wasn't necessarily the person who got the most attention. Yoda was a favourite throughout the day, with many children wanting their picture taken with him, and a surprising amount of kids wanted to be killed by Darth Vader and the stormtroopers! It was also hilarious listening to people's reactions to our fancy dress, one dad turned to his son and said, "look, space guys!"

After spending the day being humiliated (but all in good nature) and thrown up in the air whenever anyone said the words 'Princess Leia", we all headed back to Calne and regrouped for a curry later on. A few more of my friends joined us for the meal, one turning up as a Darlek. We moved on to a local pub after the meal and watched a band play, before supposedly returning to my house to wind down the night.

When my brother returned to the living room after being absent for a good twenty minutes or so, I knew my final tribulation was upon me. I passively allowed myself to be blindfolded and led down the road to an awaiting car. After we had turned a couple of corners I had lost any sense of my surroundings, completely unaware of where we were heading.

Eventually I was taken out of the car, a stormtrooper helmet placed on top my blindfold to make doubly sure I had no clue of my location. We stood out in the cold on some grass for a while, my friends chuckling as I nervously chatted away to myself. Then we were on the move again, heading down a hill and then along a path, and stopping on some grass again.

Things got a little confusing at this point, as I was placed in a small inflatable boat and slid down a steep slope onto some water. All I could think was, how did we get to the beach so quickly? Once I had been pushed out into the water a little further I was told to take of the blindfold. I removed the mask and was instantly hit by a barrage of lemonade sprayed by my mates on the river bank. I sat in the dingy, soaked to the bone, only slightly recognising my surroundings (I wasn't wearing my glasses at this point) and wondering how on earth they had come up with this idea!

Once back on dry land, I looked around at the buildings and trees, still not quite sure where I was, even with my glasses on! Then I realised that we were in Chippenham, the next town over from mine, down where the river passes by the sports centre. Up until that point I had no idea at all where we were, a very unsettling a experience!

It was then time to head home, where I could finally shower the baked goods off the side of my face and remove the pink fairy tattoo from my forehead (one of the challenges from Legoland; sadly it didn't survive till the next day!).

So that was my stag day; Lego, pastry and watery kidnap experience! I have to say I really enjoyed the whole day. It was nice to face a few embarrassments and challenges but without it ever going too far. Thanks to Joe and Matt L for organising the whole thing, you did a fantastic job, and thanks to Adam, Dan, Ben C, Matt C, Matt H, Alex, Tim R, Chris, Tom, Tim S, Ben T, Mark and my Dad for joining in with an epic day. May the force be with you!

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